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MG: RAID 0 Turns Me On

Transmitted on Sunday, February, 13th, 2011 in The Modern Geek

Modern Geek Chronicles:

RAID 0 Turns Me On

Yeah.  That’s right.  I said it.

It’s been a long time since I had a serious computer.  Too long.  For about five years now I’ve been living as the Geek equivalent of a Rwandan refugee.  Getting by with one Best Buy, eco-friendly, sans-balls laptop after another.  No real tower of my own to call my base of operations.  All my computers came pre-built.  Quaint little mass produced whores that I, shamefully, let into my house.

I tried not to blame myself.  Times were tough and I couldn’t afford the good stuff.  Yeah, I might snag a decent hard drive here or there.  Maybe throw in some mid-grade ram when I could.  But, ultimately, it was all just the equivalent of dressing up your cousin from West Virginia, taking her to the prom and weeping softly—the both of you—as you made out in the gymnasium bathroom at end of the night.

(Don’t act like that was just me.)

But no more.

This time, like a good geek, I’m building the electronic prom date of my dreams Dive deeper…

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The 1100 Tenets of Geek

Transmitted on Sunday, January, 23rd, 2011 in The Modern Geek

In my continuing exploration of my own Geek, I came to realize I needed a code, an ethos, pillars upon which I may become a better geek and, ultimately, further Geek as a whole.  Thus was born the 1100 Tenets of Geek.

Through these words, may the Geek flow for you as it has flowed for me.

1:  Admit that you are a geek and that you are powerless against your particular denomination(s) of Geek.

2:  Believe that there is a power greater than you, and it is called Geek.  And though Geek takes many forms, always strive to recognize it.

3:  Make the decision to turn your life over to Geek.

Dive deeper…

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The Modern Geek’s Manifesto

Transmitted on Tuesday, January, 18th, 2011 in The Modern Geek

Over dinner with a friend recently I realized two things:  1)  I am a geek and 2) I am not alone.

I say it’s high time we geeks took back the moniker that has, for so long, been a source of both pain and pride.  It’s time we smile when they call us “geek” or “dork” or “nerd.”

It’s time to be Modern Geeks.


I am the modern geek.

I own a PS3, XBOX360 and a Wii.  I know who the true King of Kong is.  I know that the Umbrella Corporation is as real as I make it.  I know what BioWare is not a fashion line made from hemp.  I know that the Unreal Engine has nothing all to do with auto racing.  I know that Valve is not about turning water off or on.  I understand that the key to surviving life is not planning ahead, it’s ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B, A, B, A, START.

I am not embarrassed by this, for I am the modern geek.

I own a PC, a Linux box, and currently have my eyes on more than one Apple.  I understand dual boot.  I crash my computer(s) at least once a month, just to rebuild them.  Just to make them faster, stronger; because I understand that, at some point, Lee Majors had to be beta tested.  I understand that when someone spells Python with a capital P it’s not a typo and that there won’t be a single reptile mentioned in the words that follow.  I understand that my computer is not magic.  I concede that, ultimately, it is knowable.  I build my life around this philosophy.

I am not ashamed of this, for I am the modern geek.

I workout.  And I workout not because I want to be healthy, but because I realize that working out is equivalent to powering up.  I understand that gaining one pound of muscle is equivalent to adding one point to my STR stat.  I also understand that Gatorade is not a recovery drink, it’s a recovery potion.  When I run, I’m really just side-scrolling.

I refuse to be ridiculed for this, for I am the modern geek.

I go to the movies every week.  I go not only for the good movies, but for the bad ones…sometimes especially for the bad ones.  I can quote every line of dialogue from Aliens, Star Wars, Dark City and Conan the Barbarian upon demand.  My video game characters are always named Lawgiver because “I am the Law!”  I know how many times Jeff Bridges said “Man” in Tron:  Legacy.  I know that James Cameron directed Piranha 2:  The Spawning.  I know how to spot worm sign.  I know that Bill Paxton is the only person to be killed by an alien, a predator and a terminator.

I do not hide this knowledge, for I am the modern geek.

I know what the Guyver unit is.  I know that there is a Ghost in the Shell.  I dig Appleseeds.  I know the secret identity of Racer X—even the live-action one.

I know what Helvetica is.  I hate Comic Sans.

I’ve read Snow Crash.

All these things and more are within my realm of knowledge, for I am a geek.  But even more important than all these things is the fact that I am not ashamed of any of them…for I am the modern geek.

I do not suffer in solitude and loneliness.  While I have my nerd cave, I am not a prisoner of it.  I commune with my fellow geeks.  Together we are strong.  Together, we are the foundation of the modern world.  My fellow geeks built the internet.  My fellow geeks make it better each day.  My fellow geeks created and maintain Facebook, a venue of such high-geek quality that even non-geeks can use it.  My brethren have sent rovers to Mars.  They smash atoms at nearly the speed of light before breakfast.

I am not frightened by non-geeks.  They have bullied, ridiculed and mocked me in the past, but I am the modern geek.  I wear it on my sleeve.  I have earned my title of “Geek.”  I do not take it lightly.  I strive to become a better geek.

I am strong.

I am many.

I am proud.

I am the Modern Geek.

-Jason Mott

More Modern Geek:
The 1100 Tenets of Geek
She Geeked All Over Me

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