The Modern Geek’s Manifesto
Over dinner with a friend recently I realized two things: 1) I am a geek and 2) I am not alone.
I say it’s high time we geeks took back the moniker that has, for so long, been a source of both pain and pride. It’s time we smile when they call us “geek” or “dork” or “nerd.”
It’s time to be Modern Geeks.
THE MODERN GEEK’S MANIFESTO
I am the modern geek.
I own a PS3, XBOX360 and a Wii. I know who the true King of Kong is. I know that the Umbrella Corporation is as real as I make it. I know what BioWare is not a fashion line made from hemp. I know that the Unreal Engine has nothing all to do with auto racing. I know that Valve is not about turning water off or on. I understand that the key to surviving life is not planning ahead, it’s ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B, A, B, A, START.
I am not embarrassed by this, for I am the modern geek.
I own a PC, a Linux box, and currently have my eyes on more than one Apple. I understand dual boot. I crash my computer(s) at least once a month, just to rebuild them. Just to make them faster, stronger; because I understand that, at some point, Lee Majors had to be beta tested. I understand that when someone spells Python with a capital P it’s not a typo and that there won’t be a single reptile mentioned in the words that follow. I understand that my computer is not magic. I concede that, ultimately, it is knowable. I build my life around this philosophy.
I am not ashamed of this, for I am the modern geek.
I workout. And I workout not because I want to be healthy, but because I realize that working out is equivalent to powering up. I understand that gaining one pound of muscle is equivalent to adding one point to my STR stat. I also understand that Gatorade is not a recovery drink, it’s a recovery potion. When I run, I’m really just side-scrolling.
I refuse to be ridiculed for this, for I am the modern geek.
I go to the movies every week. I go not only for the good movies, but for the bad ones…sometimes especially for the bad ones. I can quote every line of dialogue from Aliens, Star Wars, Dark City and Conan the Barbarian upon demand. My video game characters are always named Lawgiver because “I am the Law!” I know how many times Jeff Bridges said “Man” in Tron: Legacy. I know that James Cameron directed Piranha 2: The Spawning. I know how to spot worm sign. I know that Bill Paxton is the only person to be killed by an alien, a predator and a terminator.
I do not hide this knowledge, for I am the modern geek.
I know what the Guyver unit is. I know that there is a Ghost in the Shell. I dig Appleseeds. I know the secret identity of Racer X—even the live-action one.
I know what Helvetica is. I hate Comic Sans.
I’ve read Snow Crash.
All these things and more are within my realm of knowledge, for I am a geek. But even more important than all these things is the fact that I am not ashamed of any of them…for I am the modern geek.
I do not suffer in solitude and loneliness. While I have my nerd cave, I am not a prisoner of it. I commune with my fellow geeks. Together we are strong. Together, we are the foundation of the modern world. My fellow geeks built the internet. My fellow geeks make it better each day. My fellow geeks created and maintain Facebook, a venue of such high-geek quality that even non-geeks can use it. My brethren have sent rovers to Mars. They smash atoms at nearly the speed of light before breakfast.
I am not frightened by non-geeks. They have bullied, ridiculed and mocked me in the past, but I am the modern geek. I wear it on my sleeve. I have earned my title of “Geek.” I do not take it lightly. I strive to become a better geek.
I am strong.
I am many.
I am proud.
I am the Modern Geek.
-Jason Mott
More Modern Geek:
The 1100 Tenets of Geek
She Geeked All Over Me
2 Responses to “The Modern Geek’s Manifesto”
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As always, I’m in love with your writing and jealous of your Geektitude.
So, I’d like to see you wrestle, in writing, with definition number 3 especially.
geek
Slang .
–noun
1.
a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders.)
2.
a peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp. one who is perceived to be overly intellectual.
3.
a carnival performer who performs sensationally morbid or disgusting acts, as biting off the head of a live chicken.