Games/Comics/the Modern Geek
The Modern Geek Chronicles:
What I Learned from Video Games & Comics
I saw a writing prompt on a certain website–which shall remain nameless because I’ve got a few bones to pick with them–that posed the question: What have we learned from video games & comic books?
Well, here’s what I have to say about that:
Asking what the modern geek has learned from video games and comic books is like asking what the A-Team learned from having plan. In the realm of Geek, video games and comic books are the whole reason for uprooting our wife and son and heading to Arrakis.
Modern Geek Rule #1: “The Geek must flow!”
I can still remember waking up on that fateful Christmas morning long, long ago, a morning drenched in the swarthy scent of Nintendo Entertainment System. A morning of sore thumbs and blurred vision and my mother yelling that I was on my way to becoming a zombie. Decades later I’m a poet and a fiction writer, but still no closer to zombiedom.
Modern Geek Rule # 211: Dammit, Ma!
When I was nine years old the Silver Surfer showed up in the laundry room of my aunt’s house and say asked me to take a ride. “What the hell?” I thought. Then the X-Men came to dinner and Spider-man showed up talking trash and, again, my mother forecast zombiedom. Thus far: Poet? Yes. Writer? Yes. Zombie? No.
Modern Geek Rule #223: Again–Dammit, Ma!
But does any of this mean I wasn’t affected at all by the Geek influences of my youth? Of course not. Ask me what I want for lunch and the answer in my head is “turkey,” “ham” or “an apple,” all of which I envision harvesting form the bowels of a garbage can, phone booth or cardboard box via uppercut, spin kick or Hadou-ken. The chosen receptacle lies shattered on the sidewalk. The turkey makes a soothing “bwroop” sound as I bite into it.
Modern Geek Rule #2039(c): While turkey in trashcan gives full health, turkey at Thanksgiving casts Status Effect Spell: SLEEP.
When I’m out searching for Miss Modern Geek, I know that if she tells me her name is Jean and that her favorite color is gray and that she’s from Phoenix, then she’s really not that into me. She’s two minutes from jumping into the Blackbird and heading back to the mansion to hit the Danger Room for a few hours while I call the fake number she just gave me—a number that connects to a fax machine in Albuquerque, in case you were wondering.
Modern Geek Rule #7: Neither hot geeks nor telepaths dig Ax body spray.
As a modern geek, I know patience. I’ve mastered the Source Engine in the decade it took Valve to produce a sequel. I’ve seen pyros on fire off the shoulder of the Dustbowl map. I watched rockets glitter in the dark near the Two Fort gate. I’ve gotten two degrees, been through three generations of consoles and replayed Final Fantasy VII seven times in the 12+ years it takes a Duke Nukem sequel to see the light of day.
Modern Geek Rule # 97: What’s Duke Nukem again?
As a modern geek, I know courage. What else but courage—raw, unbridled, Thulsa-Doom-can-kiss-my-ass-level courage—could explain Marvel’s Spiderman clone storyline? I know that if Marvel can attempt such a feat of daring, then all bets are off and maybe, just maybe, it’s possible to play Dead Space with the lights off.
Modern Geek Rule #1117: It’s not love, sweet lady, that makes me ask you to spend the night…it’s Necromorphs.
I know humility. I’ve logged my time in hand-to-hand combat against Battletoads and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (apparently there’s an algorithm that states amphibians + platformer = F*** You Difficulty Level. There’s also an algorithm that explains why Ninja Gaiden continues enjoys heel kicking gamers in the jaw decade after decade, but that’s another story).
Modern Geek Rule #13: Super Meat Boy is harsher than two shots of BRUT cologne, and almost as intoxicating.
I know discipline. How else can I, like my fellow geeks, navigate the tedium of day jobs while all I really want is to finish my replay of Dragon Age: Origins as a two-handed sword toting, BRUT-scented badass named “Ye Lawgiver” before Little Big Planet 2, Mass Effect 2 for PS3, Dead Space 2 and Dragon Age 2 wage war on my checking accounts and force us to explain to our girlfriends why we spent their Valentine’s Day gift money on DLC.
Modern Geek Rule# 557: Boards don’t hit back. (…sorry…Enter the Dragon is on as I write this. It’s Bruce vs O’hara. ‘Nuff said.)
The list goes on of things I’ve learned from games and comics. When my mother became terminally ill, I learned that comic books could become poetry for me, and that superhero poetry was my very own unique denomination of Geek. And it was good to me. It got me through, by Crom.
And when my father fell ill, I learned that Devil May Cry 3 and Resident Evil 4 could do more than just make your fingers sore, they could take you away from death for a little while, even as you blasted zombies between their cloudy eyes and double-pistoled demons unto oblivion.
Yes, a comic book or video game can save your sanity.
Or maybe that’s just me. But I don’t think it is.
I believe that we’ve learned, fellow geeks, by the dust of them all, we’ve learned, that even if Master Blaster doesn’t run Barter Town, the console, the PC, the comic book store—all of them—are ever vigilant, ever waiting, ever willing, to fill those small, oddly-shaped gaps in our lives, those gaps in which tragedies, heartaches or even just boredom lie, those gaps that Geek, in any form, has always vowed to eradicate.
End Transmission.
More Modern Geek:
One Response to “Games/Comics/the Modern Geek”
Follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
the console, the PC, the comic book store—all of them—are ever vigilant, ever waiting, ever willing, to fill those small, oddly-shaped gaps in our lives, those gaps in which tragedies, heartaches or even just boredom lie, those gaps that Geek, in any form, has always vowed to eradicate.
Never has anyone explained so well why I love the things I do, the way I do.